Wednesday, March 31, 2010

How To Simulate Being A Sailor...

Alright...so I found these online. They are pretty funny, and most of them are pretty much true. I'm thinking that this might only be funny to a sailor, but maybe some of you might get these things. Anyways...hope they give you a laugh.

Oh, and there used to be 40, but one of them was slightly inappropriate, so I deleted it from the list. I'm pretty sure all of these are good and clean. Let me know if I missed any!

1. Buy a steel dumpster, paint it gray inside and out, and live in it for six months.

2. Run all the pipes and wires in your house exposed on the walls.

3. Repaint your entire house every month.

4. Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of the bathtub and move the shower head to chest level. When you take showers, make sure you turn off the water while you soap down.

5. Put lube oil in your humidifier and set it on high.

6. Once a week, blow compressed air (or use a leaf blower) up your chimney, making sure the wind carries the soot onto your neighbor's house. Ignore his complaints.

7. Once a month, take all major appliances apart and then reassemble them.

8. Raise the thresholds and lower the headers of your front and back doors so that you either trip or bang your head every time you pass through them.

9. Disassemble and inspect your lawnmower every week.

10. On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, turn your water heater temperature up to 200 degrees. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, turn the water heater off. On Saturdays and Sundays tell your family they use too much water during the week, so no bathing will be allowed.

11. Raise your bed to within 6 inches of the ceiling, so you can't turn over without getting out and then getting back in.

12. Sleep on the shelf in your closet. Replace the closet door with a curtain. Have your spouse whip open the curtain about 3 hours after you go to sleep, shine a flashlight in your eyes, and say "Sorry, wrong rack."

13. Make your family qualify to operate each appliance in your house - dishwasher operator, blender technician, etc. Re-qualify every 6 months.

14. Have your neighbor come over each day at 0500, blow a whistle so loud Helen Keller could hear it, and shout "Reveille, reveille, all hands heave out and trice up."

15. Have your mother-in-law write down everything she's going to do the following day, then have her make you stand in your back yard at 0600 while she reads it to you.

16. Submit a request chit to your father-in-law requesting permission to leave your house before 1500.

17. Empty all the garbage bins in your house and sweep the driveway three times a day, whether it needs it or not. Have someone repeat loudly, "Now sweepers, sweepers, man your brooms, give the ship a clean sweep down fore and aft.”

18. Have your neighbor collect all your mail for a month, read your magazines, and randomly lose every 5th item before delivering it to you.

19. Watch no TV except for movies played in the middle of the night. Have your family vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one. Repeat the same movie several nights in a row.

20. When your children are in bed, run into their room with a megaphone shouting that your home is under attack and ordering them to their battle stations, shouting, "Now general quarters, general quarters, all hands man your battle stations!"

21. Make your family menu a week ahead of time without consulting the pantry or refrigerator.

22. Post a menu on the kitchen door informing your family that they are having steak for dinner. Then make them wait in line for an hour. When you finally get to the kitchen, tell them you are out of steak, but they can have dried ham or hot dogs. Repeat daily until they ignore the menu and just ask for hot dogs.

23. Bake a cake. Prop up one side of the pan so the cake bakes unevenly. Spread icing real thick to level it off.

24. Get up every night around midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on stale bread. (Call this "Midrats".)

25. Set your alarm clock to go off at random during the night. At the alarm, jump up and dress as fast as you can, making sure to button your top shirt button and tuck your pants into your socks. Run out into the backyard and uncoil the garden hose.

26. Every week or so, throw your cat or dog in the pool and shout "Man overboard port side!" Rate your family members on how quickly they respond.

27. Put the headphones from your stereo on your head, but don't plug them in. Hang a paper cup around your neck on a string. Stand in front of the stove, and speak into the paper cup "Stove manned and ready." After an hour or so, speak into the cup again "Stove secured." Roll up the headphones and paper cup and stow them in a shoebox.

28. Make your family turn out all the lights and go to bed at 2200, saying, "Now taps, taps! Lights out! Maintain silence throughout the ship!" Then immediately have an 18-wheeler crash into your house (for the benefit of aircraft carrier sailors).

29. Build a fire in a trash can in your garage. Loudly announce to your family, "This is a drill! This is a drill! Fire in hangar bay one!"

30. Place a podium at the end of your driveway. Have your family stand watches at the podium, rotating at 4 hour intervals. This is best done when the weather is worst. January is a good time.

31. When there is a thunderstorm in your area, get a wobbly rocking chair, sit in it and rock as hard as you can until you become nauseated. Make sure to have a supply of stale crackers in your shirt pocket. ALT: Find the biggest horse you can, put a 2-inch mattress on his back, and strap yourself to it. Turn him loose in a barn filled with snakes for six hours and try to sleep. Then get up and go to work.

32. For former engineers: bring your lawn mower into the living room and run it all day long.

33. Make coffee using eighteen scoops of budget priced coffee grounds per pot; let the pot simmer for 5 hours before drinking.

34. Have someone under the age of ten give you a haircut with sheep shears.

35. Sew the back pockets of your jeans on the front.

36. Add 1/3 cup diesel fuel to the laundry.

37. Take hourly readings on your electric and water meters.

38. Lock yourself and your family in the house for six weeks. Tell them that at the end of the 6th week you are going to take them to Disney World for "liberty." At the end of the 6th week, inform them the trip to Disney World has been canceled because they need to get ready for an inspection, and it will be another week before they can leave the house.

39. Hire someone to hammer on a 55-gal drum at random hours to simulate paint chipping.

The struggle continues...

Alright...so the stress has been building up quite a bit lately. Things have been so hard on the ship lately in my shop. Last night I had the 7PM-1AM watch, but I didn't actually stop working until around 10PM...so I didn't have my usual relaxation on my watch. I can definitely see how God can use what I'm going through to help me grow...but sometimes I can't help but wonder if I can really make it through.

Today, I'll admit there was a point where I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore...I literally almost broke down over something that was said to me. I think if we all were honest with ourselves...we have all been to this point before. There were a few verses that kept running through my mind today that God brought to me to comfort me. First of all this one:

There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.
I Corinthians 10:13

It was at this point in my mind, where I started to argue with God. "But God, I'm not able to bear this!" It is at this point that I am reminded that it is when I rely on Christ, and walk with Him that the burdens are lifted. As long as I try to go through these trials, and attempt to bear them on my own...I will never have victory, and I will continue to feel overwhelmed to the point of breaking. I must rely on Christ for my sufficiency. This is not always easy to do, as it is so easy to become distracted...but God is gradually teaching me this one.

Another verse that kept popping into my head was this one:

And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
II Corinthians 12:9

How hard is it to "glorying in my (our) infirmities?" I'd say it's pretty hard. That doesn't come naturally for us as human beings. Our first reaction most of the time, when trials come, is to get angry, to cry, to distress. But...HIS grace is sufficient for us...that grace rests on us, and gives us the ability to glory in our infirmities. Wow...I have a long way to go with that one, I don't know about any of you. I must rest in Christ's unfailing grace to get me through days like today!

Alright...so there was another verse that kept popping into my head today, but it has since completely slipped my mind. If I think of it I'll be sure to post it in the comment on this post. Alright...well, I hope and pray that what I learned today might be a help to you all!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Hong Kong 2010

Alright, so this is my second time in Hong Kong, but this time I had a much better time. IC1 Geronimo and I went up to Victoria's Peak on a tram, and did some shopping and eating. The Chinese food we ate was delicious too!


This is Pineapple Rice...it is really good! I had it for the first time in Malaysia, and when I saw it on the menu at the restaurant we went to, I had to get it.


This is the Hong Kong Skyline at night.


Hong Kong Bay. Isn't it beautiful?


Hong Kong Skyline durring the day.

Okay, so I tried to upload a video of the ferry boat ride from the ship to pier in Hong Kong, but I let it try for about an hour, and it still wouldn't work. So I'll probably upload it when I get back to Japan, because the internet in my room is a lot faster.

Alright...so this is all for now.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Beneath the Cross of Jesus

by: Keith and Krisyn Getty
***
Beneath the Cross of Jesus I find a place to stand,
And wonder at such mercy that calls me as I am.
For hands that should discard me hold wounds which tell me come.
Beneath the Cross of Jesus my unworthy soul is won.
***
Beneath the Cross of Jesus, His family is my own.
Once strangers chasing selfish dreams;
Now one through grace alone.
How could I know dishonor the ones that you have loved?
Beneath the cross of Jesus my unworthy soul is won.
***
Beneath the cross of Jesus, the path before the crown.
We follow in His footsteps where promised hope is found.
How great the joy before us to be His perfect bride.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Surprises...

There's one definitely one thing that makes being in the Navy stationed on a ship so much more difficult...if someone has to get a hold of you...it's not easy at all! So I get on Facebook yesterday, and what do my eyes behold? My sister's relationship status has changed from "In a relationship with Sam Hopkins," to "Engaged to Sam Hopkins." Now...this didn't come as much of a surprise because I knew she was going to be with Sam this week, and that she thought he was going to ask her soon...but I was still taken aback.

At first I'm thinking..."I had to find out on Facebook?" But then I realized how else could they have told me? I'm out in the Pacific floating in a big tin can...the only way I can really be reached is through my ship's email, or Facebook. Oh well...hopefully when my other sister gets engaged she'll be able to call me directly.

So anyways...congrats to my big sister Sara Ruth Hunsicker on her engagement to Samuel Abbott Hopkins. There's no set date as far as I know for the wedding yet...but I'm really hoping the Navy let's me go!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

My Struggles in the Navy according to Casting Crowns...

Praise You In This Storm
I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining
***
As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
***
And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm
***
I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You
***
But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away
***
I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth
***
Slow Fade

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow
***
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
***
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray
***
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
***
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking
***
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
***
Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
***
Alright...so to be honest...these are the only two Casting Crown songs I know. I personally think that their music is a little too rocky for me. I cannot deny however that these two songs have very powerful messages, that are poignant to me right now. The first time I heard "Praise You In This Storm" was when I was watching the online memorial service for "Chief"...the father of the present pastor of Calvary Baptist Church in Lansdale, PA. I used to go to that Church back when my family lived in PA. Anyways...getting to the point...during the service they had a special in which they played a beautiful Piano-Violin arrangement of "Praise You In This Storm" with the lyrics being projected on the screen. The words that I was reading and the music I was hearing was so beautiful that I had to look it up. It has now become one of my favorite songs.
How does this song apply to my current situation in the Navy? Well...some days I must admit I feel as if the Navy is one big storm in my life. There are some days I get up and I just feel so sick of all the peer pressure, and all the immorality around...that I must be honest...I have come pretty close to giving up at times. I must be honest...even admitting that is extremely hard, but it is true. Where do I go at times like that? "I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth." I must admit I am still learning to do this. Everyday I'm reminded of the fact that all these struggles the Lord is bringing me through to better prepare me for the ministry...does that make it any easier? Sometimes it does, other times it doesn't. But still..."I Will Praise You In This Storm"...for that's all I know to do...
***
Okay...so what about "Slow Fade?" Well...the first time I heard about this song was on my "Heart Conference" CD's I ordered from Northland. I was listening to one of the tracts where Pastor Tim Jordan (Pastor of Calvary Baptist Church, Lansdale PA.) was talking about music. He was talking about how his son-in-law came to him and asked him if he knew of a song that could be sung in support of his sermon about "Sexual Purity." He said he told him that he couldn't think of one. Well...I think it was a couple of days later Pastor Tim had an email in his inbox from his son-in-law with the lyrics to "Slow Fade" in it. Pastor Tim said he read the lyrics and just started weeping...the words were so true....and honest. They ended up finding someone who took the song and made a beautiful Piano-Solo arrangement to be sung at church. He said when the Sunday came for it to be performed there were men of all ages in the audience just crying like little children.
Truly the slide into sin is a "slow fade." It starts out as some small thing that we decide to let slide...and before we know it...we are so far from God that we can't even bring ourselves to talk to Him anymore. We must be very careful what we allow ourselves to do...
How can we guard ourselves from dulling the lines between right and wrong? I was listening to a sermon by Dr. Matt Olson tonight...and he was talking about how many of our problems in our church's comes from not being on our knees enough. We must constantly be on our knees before Lord, praying to him for wisdom, and asking him to help us...whether actually physically on our knees before Him, or figuratively on our knees before him, meaning completely humbled before Him at all times.
Oh Lord...help me to do just that, and I pray also Lord that this blog post might be a blessing to all who read it. Amen...

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

"All that I Need"

By: Ron Hamilton "Patch the Pirate" (From "Once Upon A Starry Night.)

When I look around at all this world offers,
I begin to crave the things that I see.
I must keep my eyes on Jesus my Savior.
He has promised Heavenly treasure to me.

All that I need is my faith in Jesus.
All that I need is my home above.
All that I need is my Father's Mercy.
All that I need is my Savior's love.

All the pretty toys shine brightly around me.
All the pretty houses glisten and gleam.
Riches seem to offer peace and contentment.
That is just a lie, it's only a dream.

All that I need is my faith in Jesus.
All that I need is my home above.
All that I need is my Father's Mercy.
All that I need is my Savior's love.


So I realized that It's been a while since I did a post on Patch the Pirate. This is probably one of my favorite Patch songs. Of course the second verse you can see the childish part..."All the pretty toys"...I'm pretty sure that I as an adult don't crave to have "toys" in the sense of like action figures, and such, but there are things I crave. I'm pretty sure I often have things that I covet, and I'm drawn to want to buy. Things like new electronic devices, and possibly new computer games. One thing I have learned however is that all these things just cause distraction from what our purpose is in life. When I have too much "stuff"...I find myself spending less and less time talking to God, or spending time in his word. We need to be carefully about what we buy, and we must make sure we don't allow what we do have to come between us and God.

All we truly need is Christ, and if we have Him in our lives...what need to we have for anything else?

Friday, March 5, 2010

"It's the heart that really matters in the end": Ash Wednesday

So, recently on the ship I posed the question to one of my Christians friends on the ship..."what is the origin of Ash Wednesday, and does it have any biblical basis?" We both basically came to the conclusion that the subject should be studied further...so I did some studying. My first thought was to search Wikipedia to see what it said on the subject.

There was one paragraph in the article that really answered my question...here it is:

It (Ash Wednesday) marks the start of a forty day period which is an allusion to the separation of Jesus in the desert to fast and pray. During this time he was tempted. Matthew 4:1-11, Mark 1:12-13, and Luke 4:1-13.[13] WHILE NOT SPECIFICALLY INSTITUTED IN THE BIBLE TEXT, the 40 day period of repentance is also analogous to the 40 days during which Moses repented and fasted in response to the making of the Golden calf.

Herein lies the answer to our question...Ash Wednesday is not instituted in the Bible. I believe however that we can find some guiding principles in the bible that can help us decide if this is a practice that we should partake of. I think in the end it must come down to the heart...while Ash Wednesday practices may be good, and the subsequent fasting and prayer that often follows, what matters is if we have the proper Godly motivation for doing it, and do we have the correct heart attitude about it.

Moreover when ye fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. But thou, when thou fastest, anoint thine head, and wash thy face; That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father which is in secret: and thy Father, which seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly. Matthew 6:16-18

Often times people will fast, and will give up something for this 40 day period between Ash Wednesday and Easter, but they do it for the status...they do it so that they can appear to be spiritual. This is where we miss the mark...I would rather not even participate in this practice if I know that my heart is not right about it, than do it for the wrong reasons.

Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God; And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men. Colossians 3:22 & 23

We were put on this earth with the purpose of serving the Lord with our lives...we should not do anything because it pleases men, or it gives us a status here on earth. We must do all things to the Glory of our Father in Heaven. If we participate in the fasting following Ash Wednesday in an honest heart of wanting to draw closer to God through it, by all means participate, but if participating is done to please men it is not right, and should not be done.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Funny Northland Videos

Alright, so I posted this link on my Facebook...but I thought my blog followers might like to watch it too. I would make it so that you could watch it on my blog...but I'm on deployment right now, and the ship only lets me post the link. Anyways...this is the first video in a series of video's made by three college students at Northland Baptist Bible College. I was watching these and laughing my head off. It's good, clean, funny, pointless humor. They also make some other video's besides this series that are pretty funny. Hope you enjoy watching them!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkcXoZSlQNY