I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.
Your way, O God, is holy.
What god is great like our God?
You are the God who works wonders;
you have made known your might among the peoples.
You with your arm redeemed your people,
the children of Jacob and Joseph. Selah
(Psalm 77:11-15, ESV)
Today in chapel President Patz spoke on this passage...he encouraged us as a student body to mediate on the works of God in our lives, and he encouraged us to share these works of God...and raise our Ebenezer (this is a reference to 1 Samuel 7:12 when Samuel set up this "stone of help" to remember how God had delivered them in the past). So...I would like to raise mine Ebenezer...God did a great work in my life this summer...
As great as God worked in my life during my missions trip to N. Africa, God did an even greater work in my life during my internship after the trip. Throughout the internship I was struggling with a "private sin" in my life that had been a struggle for a long time. I couldn't understand why I couldn't beat it. I wanted help, but I was too afraid to ask for it...I was too afraid of being judged for this struggle...
This is where God's work came in (although, I know in letting me sin He's working as well, but His work became more clear to me). He caused me to be faced with an opportunity to confess...I was specifically asked if there was something I was struggling with...and I couldn't hold it back. I confessed...I was ashamed, I was afraid, I wanted to hide under something...but I was also relieved that I didn't have to bear the burden without some help...
God could have let me continue to sin, and He could have let me continue going after seeking pleasure in myself instead of seeking pleasure in Him...but He proved to me that I was His child in that He lovingly chastened me.
Through some time of counseling over this struggle...God revealed to me that at the root of my sin was anger at Him for things that I perceived to be injustices...
I was like Job...presuming to question God for the things He does...but just like Job couldn't see all the vast things that God was doing, I don't see everything God is doing...I may see what appears to be a disaster...but to God is a part of a beautiful tapestry that He is making...He is using circumstances in my life to shape me more into the image of His Son...I do not need all the answers...I can trust God, for He is faithful!
I was counseled that I need to meditate on the Faithfulness of God...so that is what I've been doing...meditating on His faithfulness...in the Word...
God is faithful...He's faithful in the times of great joy, He's faithful in times of suffering...He's faithful in my infirmities, He's faithful in my healing...His faithfulness has no end...and I will make His faithfulness known!