Well, you can probably guess what this is going to be about based on the title...
This feels like a never ending struggle for me. 26 years old...my sister is married and has a baby whom I adore and would love to have my own...my friends who are younger than me are getting engaged and getting married...and here I am...just floating along...
I've had many friends tell me things like, "Just make sure your walk with God is right before you pursue any relationship" or "God will bring the right one along when you are content with only Him." I've had periods within the last couple of years where I thought these could be said of me...at least to a degree...but looking back I know now that I only thought I was because I was tired of hurting girls so I wanted to be single...so I was not wanting the relationship out of fear, rather than because God was directing.
Then, more recently I started going the other direction where I was seeking it out like I have in the past, and I knew this was wrong...
So...there's the predicament I'm in...have I come to any conclusion?
This evening I was reminded of the sermon by David Platt that I had posted about in the past...the sermon is called "The Gospel and Singleness." He speaks in the sermon of the fact that we view the gift of singleness and the gift of marriage as if some people have one, and some people have the other (and while this may be true, we don't know for sure, because we're not God, which one we have)...and this causes us to think that we are destined for a lack of contentment until we fulfill the needs of our gift. Mr. Platt suggests that if we're single, God has gifted us with singleness...while we're single we shouldn't waste the freedom we have...if we're married, we're gifted with the gift of marriage...we shouldn't waste the opportunities this gives us to minister to our family.
This was really encouraging to me at the time that I heard it, but I feel like God has shown me how this truth plays out even more. God has gifted me with singleness...why waste it in feeling sorry for myself? Now, this realization shouldn't cause me to have the attitude of trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps...this is never helpful...for I can do nothing apart from Christ.
So...what does not wasting my singleness look like? Well, that's what I'm going to seek, with God's help, to figure out...but I have some ideas that I believe God has given me right now. First and foremost...I need the Word! I need to seek Christ daily, and seek Him as my ultimate source of contentment. He is the only one who can give me the fulfillment I desire.
Secondly...I need community...the body of believers. Reaching out to them and discipling them, and even of course seeking to make disciples of unbelievers. This way I'm pouring out the things God has taught me to others, and not just holding it all in and becoming stagnant (for this has happened for far too long for me).
So, by God's grace, I would seek to go forward with the Lord...seeking Him in His Word and seeking opportunities to disciple and make disciples.
So, I pray:
"Oh Lord, help me to be content with you and you alone. Help me Lord to embrace opportunities to disciple and be discipled. If it be your will that I get married in the future, may it happen in your perfect timing...and if it be your will that I be single till you take me home, help me to be content with that. Help me to run to you every day for strength, and not try to do this on my own. Enable me, by your grace, to go forward in the strength that only you can give me. In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
This feels like a never ending struggle for me. 26 years old...my sister is married and has a baby whom I adore and would love to have my own...my friends who are younger than me are getting engaged and getting married...and here I am...just floating along...
I've had many friends tell me things like, "Just make sure your walk with God is right before you pursue any relationship" or "God will bring the right one along when you are content with only Him." I've had periods within the last couple of years where I thought these could be said of me...at least to a degree...but looking back I know now that I only thought I was because I was tired of hurting girls so I wanted to be single...so I was not wanting the relationship out of fear, rather than because God was directing.
Then, more recently I started going the other direction where I was seeking it out like I have in the past, and I knew this was wrong...
So...there's the predicament I'm in...have I come to any conclusion?
This evening I was reminded of the sermon by David Platt that I had posted about in the past...the sermon is called "The Gospel and Singleness." He speaks in the sermon of the fact that we view the gift of singleness and the gift of marriage as if some people have one, and some people have the other (and while this may be true, we don't know for sure, because we're not God, which one we have)...and this causes us to think that we are destined for a lack of contentment until we fulfill the needs of our gift. Mr. Platt suggests that if we're single, God has gifted us with singleness...while we're single we shouldn't waste the freedom we have...if we're married, we're gifted with the gift of marriage...we shouldn't waste the opportunities this gives us to minister to our family.
This was really encouraging to me at the time that I heard it, but I feel like God has shown me how this truth plays out even more. God has gifted me with singleness...why waste it in feeling sorry for myself? Now, this realization shouldn't cause me to have the attitude of trying to pull myself up by my bootstraps...this is never helpful...for I can do nothing apart from Christ.
So...what does not wasting my singleness look like? Well, that's what I'm going to seek, with God's help, to figure out...but I have some ideas that I believe God has given me right now. First and foremost...I need the Word! I need to seek Christ daily, and seek Him as my ultimate source of contentment. He is the only one who can give me the fulfillment I desire.
Secondly...I need community...the body of believers. Reaching out to them and discipling them, and even of course seeking to make disciples of unbelievers. This way I'm pouring out the things God has taught me to others, and not just holding it all in and becoming stagnant (for this has happened for far too long for me).
So, by God's grace, I would seek to go forward with the Lord...seeking Him in His Word and seeking opportunities to disciple and make disciples.
So, I pray:
"Oh Lord, help me to be content with you and you alone. Help me Lord to embrace opportunities to disciple and be discipled. If it be your will that I get married in the future, may it happen in your perfect timing...and if it be your will that I be single till you take me home, help me to be content with that. Help me to run to you every day for strength, and not try to do this on my own. Enable me, by your grace, to go forward in the strength that only you can give me. In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
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