Unforgiveness

Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

“Therefore the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his servants. When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and payment to be made. So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.’ And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. But when that same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii, and seizing him, he began to choke him, saying, ‘Pay what you owe.’ So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you.’ He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt. When his fellow servants saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their master all that had taken place. Then his master summoned him and said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?’ And in anger his master delivered him to the jailers, until he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Matthew 18:21-35 (ESV)

As a Biblical Counselor, this is one of the first texts I take a counselee to to talk about forgiveness. Especially when they're failing to forgive someone who has sinned against them. 

As far as I can tell there are three reasons Christians don't forgive their brother who has sinned against them...

1. We have forgotten how holy God is.
2. We have forgotten how big of a sinner we are.
3. We have forgotten how amazing God's forgiveness of us in Christ is.

Now, what about the implication at the end that the person who will not forgive their brother has not been forgiven of their sin by Christ (they're not a true Christian)? Was this person never truly a Christian?

In answer to this, I would say, we're asking the wrong question. We should feel the weight of this parable on our hearts. Am I forgiving someone who sins against me? Do I have a posture of forgiveness to welcome someone in if they ask for forgiveness? 

Someone who has been forgiven of all their sins in Christ should of all people be willing to forgive because the debt this person has against us pales in comparison to the sins I've committed against God. 

So, maybe you're reading this and you know there's someone in your life that you haven't forgiven. Or maybe you know your tendency to hold grudges, and you want to cultivate a forgiving heart. Well, meditate on the Holiness of God...think about the ugliness of your own sin...and then marvel at God's forgiving grace toward you in Christ!